Eh not much

So we have decided that Cindy is about 9 going on 10 weeks of pregnancy. We feel at this point we don’t have any reservations letting people know. My father has taken that role for me and has made it his job to tell everyone. I mean I am not upset about it, I told him he could. I am not sure it was the best idea considering people are now asking me why I didn’t tell them personally. Oh well, it’s that kind of criticism that might have upset me a couple months ago. Now I just don’t care, I have more important things to care about.

Cindy seems to be making her way for the finish line of the morning sickness. The last couple of days each day she seems to have become increasingly better. It is a good relief to know she is on the upswing. I know that issues can persist throughout the whole pregnancy and it very well might. I just think we may have seen the worst of the storm.

So my birthday is coming up. I am still staying incognito so I will only say that it is soon, I won’t give away the actual day. I guess I like hiding behind a fake name that way I feel less insecure about divulging my true feelings. Any hoo, I received a wii for my birthday from my wife. Ladies if you think your man is to mature or does not care about video games any more. You are wrong. I love it. I love that it has games where you actually have to move to play, but it also has those classic RPG games. I didn’t even ask for the wii but I have said it a bunch of times since I have known my wife. I would always say I would love one of those, but I don’t need it. She totally surprised me and I love her so much. I just have to make sure I don’t play too much and make her mad. Oh and as a heads up fellas. If your wife dopes buy you a gaming system, she doesn’t really want you to use it. She wants you to use it when she is comfortable with you using it. For me it’s easy, with the pregnancy she is always tired and taking naps. That’s my cue to have some fun time.

In other news we went to the doctor for a consultation and now Cindy needs to get blood drawn. She is a big wimp with stuff like that (so am I but I will never admit that directly to her) so I am sure I will be tagging along. I believe this is to test for certain blood diseases and stuff like that. I think they like to tell you up front the amazingly large number of problems that can come with a baby. I choose to look on the bright side. The doctor did mention that the first consultation is always the scariest and it gets easier after that.

There have been some breaking developments in Cindy and my loneliness in all of this. It turns out her Cousin has also been knocked up. This is great because they are extremely close, and they will really enjoy having someone to go through this with. It also gives a buddy (her cousin’s husband) to bitch to. This should be all around good for everyone.

Well work is crazy so I need to get back.

Constant

So I believe this word has become my motto. I am constantly apologizing to my readers for constantly not writing enough each week. I am constantly busy since work has massively picked up. I am constantly missing that one last thing in a day to get done, so that everything is set right and I can relax. I am constantly fighting a battle with my wife Cindy about eating and what she wants and if she has. I am constantly going crazy.

So I would say I have been constantly moving and once again is no excuse for not writing, but yet again it’s my excuse.

There has been news on the baby front. We went to the OB again on Tuesday for a consultation. This is where I am amazed they are allowed to make money. We sat an answered question about our family history. With modern science you would think we could have submitted an internet form or something, even a non modern fax could have probably worked. I forgot that in this day and age we have Hippa and stupid privacy laws. I shouldn’t say that because I really know nothing about it, but it annoys me none the less.

So I guess it wasn’t a complete lost cause, Cindy was given the old finger check to make sure her cervix and uterus was the right shape and size. Turns out she is normal. Well as far as shape and size go, the jury is still out on her head.

Urgent!!!!!!!!!! To all men who just found out they are going to be dads! If within the first 4 weeks your significant other starts feeling sick, first; read earlier post they explain a lot, next; be prepared to go without sex for a long time. Look I am now horn dog and I respect my wife and what she is going through. Sex is in my eyes a large part of health relationships, and if your other is not feeling good you are granted at least two months of celibacy. In the long run an extremely small sacrifice compared to the one my wife is going through. I just thought the warning should be out there.

I thought I would end this post the same way I started. I complain a lot, especially the last four or so posts. I don’t want people thinking I am a monster nor that my wife is. Despite everything, I constantly adore my wife. I am constantly looking at her and falling in love over and over, every day. I constantly wake up and want today to be better then yesterday for her. I constantly see the love she has for me in her eyes. I am so proud and excited we are having a child together. I am so in love and glade that our love is the one constant I know that will never change.

Peanut

Ok so it has been far too long since I have posted anything. There is a reason for this. I have been swamped at work and I am now the sole keeper of the house. This in turn means I no longer get to sleep or relax.

It began a little over a week ago. Morning sickness had begun. Well morning sickness is all day sickness. It is also complimented by some exciting others, such as constipation and headaches. This is not true for everyone, but for Cindy the worse has come true.

Warning men, if your wife tells you she is pregnant and then says she begins to feel sick, check her into a spa for the next six weeks. You will very quickly become the cleaner, cooker, house worker, grocery getter, feet rubber, complaint listener, and any other job that needs to be done. You will have no help because your significant other will be moaning her day away, in what seems like the most uncomfortable pain, all day.

Seriously I am not saying that Cindy doesn’t has it rough, and I know if she could trade doing some chores for not feeling sick, she most definitely would. It is just the most frustrating time I have ever spent with someone. It absolutely brings down your confidence and tears at you. You don’t want to see you wife lying around moaning in pain. It hurts to see her hurting. It also never ends. I try so hard to keep a positive feeling going but it’s hard when it’s such a negative energy in the house. Another little warning men, you will get no sympathy from anyone. It is your duty to uphold the fabric of men everywhere and take the stress filled situation that is now your life. Alright so if you don’t work from home like I do, I guess you have to deal with it much less, but it will still suck once you get home.

I have also learned that anger usually accompanies misery. I get yelled at, at least a hundred times a day. These comments add even more to the frustration. All in all I am complaining a lot and I would do anything for my wife, but I cannot wait till the first trimester is over.

One absolutely bitter sweet thing that has occurred is we have been eating all the foods I am usually not allowed to eat. Since Cindy will only eat certain things, we have been eating basically crappy unbelievably tasty food. I love it but my waist line is beginning to hate it. Oh and that’s another thing there is no working out when you’re dealing with a morning sick wife, there is just no time. So that adds to the growing gut.

There has been some good news, and I wanted to end with some good news. The purpose of sneaking away for five minutes to write something down was to say we got the official thumbs up. I went with Cindy to the doctor for her ultra sound. Low and behold there it was our peanut. Well that’s what the doctor referred to it as. So the kid will officially be known as peanut their entire life. It was really awe inspiring to see this little nut shaped orb on a blurry screen, but what really takes your breath away is when they point out the heart beat. It’s a pixel size flicker on a screen. It microscopic but has the power to make a grown man soft and get very emotional. I would say I have been through hell lately, but that little heart is why, and that keeps you going, I am sure that’s what keeps Cindy going, in her terrible shape. The situation is bigger than me and the chores, the running around, it’s about my future child. I think I will try and keep that in mind when it seems like Cindy just can’t take it anymore or I get another sleepless night. When things are at their worst, there is always a good reason for them, and we will get through. I can’t however wait till this part is over.

No one is safe from the pain

It’s been a day or two since I have posted. I apologize to the three people who may actually read this. I just hope one day when some rich investor becomes pregnant for the first time and turns to my incredibly inspiration blog to help him through. Then he makes me an offer to publish my blog, I will appear on the Today show, and Oprah. Well we can all dream can’t we? I started thinking that with a kid some extra income would be nice, if I could only win the lottery.

On to more important news, Cindy had informed me that she had not thought her mother or sister had morning sickness during their pregnancy. She was hopeful that she may be immune to that beast. It turns out she is only slightly immune. She has not totally lost it yet, but yesterday and today she has been battling with moments of nausea and headache. After some research we found out it is due to lower blood sugar. Some interesting cures are eating a late night snack, or keeping crackers next to the bed so when you wake up you can pop a couple in. We are going to start with an elongated eating day. Instead of three meals a day we are going to stretch it out and eat six small meals every so often. This is supposedly good for you if you’re not pregnant, so what could it hurt. We figured this will keep the blood sugar more stable over a longer period of time.

What has also been a large factor are headaches. Cindy has been having on and off tension headaches. This is common but hard to tell what is causing it. My best guess is dehydration, and the fact that she quite coffee cold turkey. My advice to anyone trying to get pregnant, wean yourself off coffee before you get pregnant, supposedly the headaches suck. It has not been exactly a walk in the park for me. Cindy feels like crap which becomes an open invitation to be evil. I completely understand though. When I get sick I become a bastard and need everything done for me.

I love this new thing she is doing though. I like to call it opposite Kaleb. No matter what I say I get a negative or reverse comment to it. For instance if I said the sky is blue I would almost definitely get a response, “no it red today”. It’s a fun game I have been trying to master. I figure at this point I am going to try and stay on my toes and make the opposite comment of what I want to do, and then maybe I will get what I want. If I want to go out for dinner all I should have to do is mention that I really want to stay home and cook tonight. It’s an interesting theory; I will let you know if it works out for me.

I am so excited that this weekend is a holiday weekend. Let’s hope we can curb the illnesses and get Cindy to a level she can enjoy what could be a relaxing fun weekend.

No more fun?

So this weekend was a bit of an eye opener for me. We ended up going to a beach and meeting with some friends. This has actually become a tradition for us and it usually consists of a pretty good time and typically a good amount of drinking. Since this is the case we needed to inform our friends that Cindy could not drink this weekend and why. Our friends are a couple who is engaged. They are semi on the same path as us, but not entirely as we found out later. They live in a city and really enjoy their freedom right now. They enjoy going to bars and clubs on weekends. They like the fast paced life I guess you could say.

The first night was no problem. We went out to a pub (non smoking pub) that Cindy had a ginger ale and the rest of us proceeded to throw a couple back and have a good time. Cindy was great she didn’t seem bothered by not drinking at any point. I was very happy to see we could have a life and be pregnant too. Well that is true to a certain degree I found out the next night.

The next night, Saturday, we all headed out to a nice dinner. The dinner was amazing, and so far the night was going well. Cindy and I were really ok with whatever the night had for us as long as it was nonsmoking and really not a “club”. The female of our couple friend seemed to be on the same page. She was happy relaxing at a local pub or calm Irish pub, something where we could hear each other and have a good time. Her male counterpart had a different vision of the night. He wanted to find a place that didn’t have a cover but did have a cover band. He wanted to party, and he had every right to want that. We tried to compromise by going several different places. None of the places we stopped had cover bands. I even suggested paying a cover and just going to a beach bar. It seemed as though nothing would please our friend or make the situation easier. He also didn’t want to be the pain by saying this is what I want. So basically no one was making any decisions.

I would say that we probably wouldn’t go aka (clubbing) anymore even if we were not pregnant. I had a feeling it was the fact that we were limited a small bit, that was really bothering our friend. We no longer have complete freedom, to just go anywhere. A place that allows smoking is no longer a place we can visit. An establishment that has super loud music and a large crowd is not a good thing to bring Cindy into.

So should we just avoid these situations? We have several things like that this summer. I think we may be cancelling plans throughout the summer. I personally would rather not go somewhere if I am going to make someone else’s time less enjoyable.

In the end we ended up at a local pub where I thought we enjoyed the rest of the night. There were still some comments made like “A band would have been fun tonight”, but it all seemed to work out anyway. Cindy said despite not drinking she had a good time. I just wish no one felt like we held them back. I hate being a person who holds anyone back from a good time or an idea.

Something else I realized is that as of lately with a great reduction in social drinking I have become a massive light weight. So the little amount of drinking I did this weekend was felt very much so. I have not been hung-over in a long time, and it is just as crappy as I remember it, but if having a good drunk time is what is was going to take to get our friend back to happy town, then damn it that’s what I was going to do. I know I try to please everyone, and should really just be concerned with myself, but I just can’t do it. Again I think I may just avoid those situations, or clarify ahead of time what kind of expectations our friends might have.

So in conclusion it was a fun weekend , and I don’t think we need to sacrifice our lives completely, I do think we need to be smarter about the situations we put ourselves in, and make sure expectations are agreed to before we commit to a situation.

No more fun? I would say so far still having fun but there are so many more months ahead of us, we will see.

The waiting game

So I apologize I did not follow up yesterday. I have been in the thick of things at work this week. I know it’s a lousy excuse but an excuse none the less.

I explained that Cindy got the blood work done and now we are playing the waiting game. Here is the fun part, even if we get the test back, and shows positive. The doctor still needs her to come in a give an ultra sound. This is starting to become crazy and I fear it will only get worse.

Waiting sucks by the way, if you didn’t already know that. I do my best to keep my mind on other things by focusing on, this blog, my work, my company I have started. This blog doesn’t really help though because I am writing about the situation, which means I need to think about it. I wish I could fast forward time to at least past the first trimester. I mentioned before I am such a worry wart. I am constantly checking to make sure Cindy isn’t eating something bad or doing something that might hurt herself. She is extremely clumsy so it’s necessary to keep an eye on her. However I can’t be annoying about it. I need her to still feel independent, and not like I am watching her every move.

I am to going to lie I have been feeling slightly under the weather the last couple days. This post is going to get cut short. I will be back and running come Monday. I just don’t have the bandwidth today. Maybe at that point the waiting game will have had some light shed on it and I might have some news for you.

Not such a good day.

So excited and motivated I began my project of refinishing a dresser last night. I made sure I took precautions considering I know that paint stripper is wicked stuff. I must not have been careful enough. I wound up with a wicked sore throat, even though I wore a mask. I also could not for the life of me fall asleep because of it. So I was up till who knows when, and just incase it me getting sick and not due to the chemicals I slept in one of our guest rooms away from Cindy. So not only did I not feel good I didn’t get to sleep in my own bed. Let’s just say I am not a happy camper right now.

In other news Cindy is going to get blood work done. I am now officially confused. We went to the doctor who did an ultra sound. They said it was too early and could not see anything, but that the fallopian tube had something that is supposed to be happening. So if they are using a ultra sound to confirm what the is Cindy doing getting blood work done. We have taken three separate home pregnancy tests now; the blood work to me seems like a load of crap. It’s Just another way to get money from us. I guess in some way it is exciting because it’s one more step to having it official.

I really can’t wait till this thing is far enough along that it doesn’t engulf my mind 24/7. I am actually becoming very excited about the nursery. I enjoy projects like that. I have also figured out that if I am doing something to improve the house and I can only do it, it’s a nice break for me. There is no one scrutinizing what I am doing, or asking me to do random not so important things. It’s like my own little time of Zen. I can turn on a radio do my work, and it’s just me and what I am doing. It really works to fold. I get some peace and quiet and my wife gets stuff that she has wanted done forever finally done. This may be a saving grace to both of us. I would suspect that Cindy enjoys the time away from me as well.

Well I am going to get some tea and hope this darn sore throat goes away.

Excitingly uneventful day!

Yup not much happened yesterday. Sorry to disappoint maybe the one person who actually reads this. I mean tons of things happened in the world. My favorite comedian of all time passed away, people are still struggling out west. It does make you sit back and think how lucky I am. I live in an area where not too much happens weather and destruction wise, and well I am still alive and breathing. It makes all those times that you get upset or angry, seem insignificant. I am reading a great book the Toa of Pooh. It’s a semi flakey book, that gets a little to in-depth at times, but the overall concept is a good one to follow. I always seem to be so hot headed at times and forget what’s really important. When I look around and see how much I have, I should be very grateful.

The world keeps moving even though we don’t some times. It has got me thinking again that no one else knows about us being pregnant but us. Honestly according to my statistics, Cindy and I are the only ones who read the blog, so really no one knows. I hope that changes. I have tried registering my blog with several blog indexes. Here is hoping that someone somewhere will read this. Maybe my words are boring and mundane, but maybe someone will find them entertaining or informative.

Well I guess I might have one or two things to talk about. I have been super excited about this whole thing. Cindy says she is but she also has the inability to show emotion. She really hasn’t been excited about this at all. I mean we have gone and bought the books and we ordered a crib, but just no emotion comes out of her. I have asked and she says that she shows it in her own way. I can respect that, but it doesn’t mean I am not going to worry about her anyway. I come from a long line of men who worry excessively. I have a feeling that the more it becomes really and she starts showing it will become more exciting to her. I also think because she can’t keep a secret and hates lying, she is annoyed with the situation right now. Again I can understand that. I still wish there weren’t so many foe pas. I wish once that line turned pink we could scream from the mountains “we are having a baby! now you all know”. I also hope that I am doing my job as “the man” to keep an open line of communication. I really want her to know that she can talk to me, and if I am not enough, she can talk to her cousin and best friend (who is the only one who knows about us). I am trying very hard to keep things in the house as smooth as possible. We, as I suspect most people do, let things slide a lot, not with the little things but the big things. I proposed that Cindy ask for one large thing a week, a dresser painted, a room painted, a shelf built, the deck stained, and so on. One thing a week and it will be my sole responsibility to get that one project done. I believe my first one is to strip a dresser of paint and either repaint or stain it. It’s actually fun for me. I think the reason we allow things to get backed up is because we have so much we want to do we can only focus on everything. I think this way we focus on one thing at a time, and in the end more will actually get accomplished.

In the end hopefully we will be caught up. I mean we have nine months that gives us like 35 more weeks. That’s 35 large projects. I doubt that many will get accomplished but we sure as heck will try.

Too Early!

So Cindy just got home. We have been told she came in a bit earlier then most women do. They did an ultra sound on her, and concluded that she has nothing to view yet, but something to do with a cyst on the ovary tells them that the fertilized egg came out of her left ovary. So basically things look good but no official thumbs up, BOOOOOOOO. I am bummed but I am also inpatient. I guess she will go back in two weeks to get the official thumbs up.

I asked what this means and she informed me that it really does not change anything. The doctor agrees she is probably pregnant but can’t really say so until their protocol is met. I get it, doctors have to watch their asses now a days, but does it really mean you can’t just say, “yes you are pregnant let’s just make sure in two weeks that is going well”. So now begins maybe the longest two weeks of my life. I am a huge worry wart and I think I need official oks even though I know things are probably fine. The next step as my wife informed me is blood work. I guess this is to check for HGC that has already been detected by the home test. Once again we give more money to the doctors, who will tell us nothing more than we already know. Oh well I guess that’s how things are done. Thinking about it now I guess no bad news is good news. I mean we know she is pregnant. We know a fertilized egg came out of an ovary, what we didn’t hear is if anything was abnormal. I can appreciate that! I think I will keep that kind of spirit going.

Well it’s not what I wanted to hear but it is also not what I didn’t want to hear. I guess today really has not change our dynamic at all. What a bummer!

It has reared its ugly head!

So I don’t know exactly if this is normal but I would suspect that it could be. My wife has turned into the dragon lady. There has not been a smiley on her face over this entire past weekend. From doing some research I know that her hormones will be off the chart, especially during the first trimester. I have to however say wow I never thought it could be so bad! I almost miss the good old days of PMS. Now I know what you’re thinking. I am only getting myself into more trouble writing about it. I have a loop hole! Cindy informed me that I could and for better quality should be as honest as I can be in these post. I was told she could not hold that against me. Well we will see after she reads this post.

It takes a toll on the man in these situations. Yes I said it this is tough on the guys too. So shoot me you uptight women out there. Despite the fact that, yes your body is changing, and yes your going through what will be the most traumatic, physical and emotional moment of your life, we still have a ton to deal with as well. I am in no way, and please mark this down, saying that my job is even close to as hard as hers. What I am saying is for the guys, despite an onslaught of comments and nasty remarks we do our best to suppress our anger and rebuttals. We know it’s not really your fault your evil, but it is sometimes impossible to not argue back, and don’t think that the guilt doesn’t sink in right after we give it back to you. We feel awful, it’s a huge crutch that men think unilaterally sometimes, but it usually shows itself in the form of defense when being attacked, we just can’t help it. Just know ladies we do understand, we are just too proud sometimes to shut up.

Moving on, the tiredness has defiantly set in. Cindy is dozing off every day now at about 6 for a half hour or so. I know that pregnant women need more sleep because their uterus is changing shape, cells are dividing. They are producing a new human, enough said. I can’t imagine what kind of toll a baby oven takes on a body. I have learned that those times that they sleep, are the best times in the day. I get a small escape from the dragon lady. I also have sometime for myself, because I know once the beats has arisen its back to the sweat shop. Is it me or when women get moody they also get motivated. Mind you they don’t want to do things but they would sure wish you to do them. This weekend, I was directed to replace all the smoke detectors in my house, hang a 5 foot mirror, and replace our old thermostat with a new digital one. I really don’t mind doing these things. In fact it is nice when I can make improvements to the house. I just think its funny how we put these things off, that is until miss moody kicks in and then it’s off to the races.

Ok so things are not all bad. In fact they are quite amazing. I am still riding this high of becoming a father, and also becoming massively scared that I am going to be a father. I know that in nine months I will be a dad and our lives as we know it are over, no more dinners out, and no more going to the pub. So as a celebration, and maybe a last supper, I decide that we needed a nice dinner out. It’s an amazing restaurant and it’s also extremely expensive. It was actually very nice. The meal was amazing and the time together was very much needed. I am already seeing that we are going to need some breaks now and then from the whirl wind that will be our pregnancy. Times may they be brief, where it’s just us enjoying each other, kind of like when you first meet. Without those times and experiences I think couples would end up going mentally insane.

I do have exciting news. As I am typing this and trying to find all that I wanted too from the weekend, Cindy is at the doctor getting the officially your pregnant test. The drug store test is probably more than accurate. I am also sure doctors use this as an excuse to get more money. However it will be nice to have the official thumbs up from a professional and not a couple of lines on the test. I will let everyone know the verdict once Cindy gets home.

I can’t really think of much more that has happened. So I will leave it there.